I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
