At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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