if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
