just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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