I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I will pee on everything he values.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
