You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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