So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
