I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
