I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
