Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
