Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
