I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
