We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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