That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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