she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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