your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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