I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
