Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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