I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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