Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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