marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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