I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
