i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
