if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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