And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize