i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
this boner is exhausting
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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