allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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