My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
