thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
