And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
So squirting runs in the family.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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