He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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