Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Randomize
