Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
