I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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