I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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