when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
