dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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