that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
