Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
