I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
