garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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