Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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