Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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