That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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