she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm always down for nudity.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize