I just gift wrapped bread.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
