you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
