Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
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