They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
