There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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