Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
