3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
