this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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