Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
