All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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