WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
