ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
