i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
