I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's never too late to be topless.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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