My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
