porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
