Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
