Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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