Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
