I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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