how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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