Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
