Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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