I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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