She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
