And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize