She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
