I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
