Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
