you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
