Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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