she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
