I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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