i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
